Memorable quotes

People who think they know everything tend to irritate those of us who do.

My taste is simple, the best.

God bless the American legal system
A glorious machine that turns stupidity into cold hard cash!

Working weeks come to its end, party time is here again.

I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside

Got a letter from the government the other day.
Opened it and read it. It said they were suckers.

It's a small world and it smells funny
I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money

I'm a 21:st century digital boy
I don't know how to live, but I got a lot of toys

When will the world listen to reason?
When will the truth come into season?
I have a feeling it will be a long time.

Happiness isn't something you experience, it's something you remember.

I didn't believe in reincarnation in any of my other lives.
I don't see why I should have to believe in it in this one.

If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

I'm a firm believer in the concept of a ruling class,
especially since I rule.

Stay alert! Trust no one! Keep your laser handy!

The best definition of a gentleman is a man who can play the accordion -- but doesn't.

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

If there's no light at the end of the tunnel, get down there and light the darn thing yourself!

Unix is the most user friendly system I know, the point is the it is really selective about who is indeed its friend.

The difference between theory and practice, is that in theory, there is no difference between theory and practice.

Your mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.

I might disagree with what you have to say, but I'll defend your right to say it to the death.

Software is like sex, it is better when it is free.

The 3 great virtues of a programmer:
Laziness, Impatience, and Hubris.

It's the mature and adult thing to do!
How does that affect me?

Men don't want children!
Any man who thinks or says he wants children is no longer a man
but a pussywhipped freak of nature.

Dates are for having fun and people should use them to get to know each other.
Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.

CNNESPNABCBCVTNT, but mostly BS

What did you do yesterday?
I did absolutely nothing and it was everything I thought it would be.

Think about how stupid the average person is.
Then realise that half of them are more stupid than that.

I drink to make other people interesting.

When everybody is out to get you, paranoid just seems like a good idea.

How to relate to women:
Treat them like compilers that take simple statements and turn them into big productions.

Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.

Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing,
but none of them serious.

Plans are useless, but planning is indispensible.

Life is a sexually transmittable desease with terminal outcome.

I'm on a seafood diet.

So am I. When I see food I eat it.

I'm bi-sexual. Whenever I want sex I have to buy it.

What do you think of western civilisation?
I think it would be a good idea.

Failure is not an option, it comes bundled with the software.

If you don't know where you are going you are never lost.

If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%?

Hiroshima '45 Chernobyl '86 Windows '95

Acceptance testing: An unsuccessfull attempt to find bugs.

Great minds discuss ideas,
Average minds discuss events,
Small minds discuss people.

Don't take life to seriously, you'll never get out of it alive anyway.

Light travels faster than sound.
That is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.

Jag spenderade mina pengar på sprit, kvinnor och sång.
Resten slösade jag bort.

(Roughly: I spent my money on women, drinking and singing..
The rest I squandered).

A hen is an egg's way of making another egg.

Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don't.

• Make it idiot proof, and someone will make a better idiot.

• I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

• Press any key to continue or any other key to quit

• The box said "Requires Windows 95 or better." So I installed LINUX

• <-- Your information went that way -->

• Go away, or I will replace you with a very small shell script.

• Do not meddle in the affairs of sysadmins, for they are suddle and quick to anger.
• SELECT * FROM users WHERE clue > 0
  0 rows returned

• Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young!

• Misfortune: While good fortune often eludes you, this kind never misses.

• For every winner, there are dozens of losers. Odds are you are one of them.

• Failure: When your best just isn't good enough.

• Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.

• If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.

• If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

• There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots.

• There is no joy greater than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except mayby the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality.

• The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.

• When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.

• Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

• The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious.

• In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world.

• You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and, statistically speaking, 99% of the shots you do.

• The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.

• When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness.

• It's amazing how much easier it is for a team to work together when no one has any idea where they're going.

• Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you.

• When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.

• If we don't take care of the customer, mayby they'll stop bugging us.

• It takes months to find a customer, but only seconds to lose one. The good news is we should run out of them in no time.

• Mediocrity: It takes a lot less time, and most people won't notice the difference until it's too late.

• Laziness: Success is a jurney, not a destination. So stop running.

• Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.

• The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the lawnmower.